Fun Page

FUN PAGE!!!


In Las Vegas, some worshipers give Casino Chips in church rather than cash. Since the chips come from many different casinos, churches have devised a method to collect the offerings. Churches send all of their collected chips to a monastery where they are sorted and taken to the original casinos and cashed in. This is all done by the Chip Monks.

Lighten up, Jesus is coming back!        





A little boy asked a man what he had for breakfast. The man said, Grits and Rolls.


I gritted my teeth        and rolled my eyes.      





 Knock, knock!  Who's there? Ed the Mooooooon.  Ed the Moooooooon who?


Ed the  moooooooooooon  cow.





Bible Stories by Kids -

 

 

In case you're a little foggy on your biblical history, let church students help you with this complete overview of the Bible, compiled from essays.  This is one clever rendition of the "Bible in a Nutshell"! Enjoy!......laughter is a gift from God!

 

 

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says,"The Lord thy God is one," but I think He must be a lot older than that.  Anyway, God said, "Give me a light!" and someone did. Then God made the world.

 

 

He split the Adam and made Eve.  Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

 

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

 

 

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

 

 

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

 

 

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then He gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.  Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more:

Humor thy father and thy mother.

 

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.



 

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